Why You Need to Start Saying No

Start Saying No. Back at the beginning of March, when I first added this post to my March schedule, I wasn’t really qualified enough to do this post. I had never really refused someone. I had never said no to an opportunity, or to a choice. But now I have. Twice. To BIG opportunities. And no, they are not blogging related, (I hope to get there someday), but they were kind of big. I refused them because I didn’t want them and wasn’t comfortable with them.

How to Start Saying No

THIS APPLIES TO ALL

First of all, what I’m saying applies to all kinds of things. From sponsorships to exam opportunities. I’m going to lay it down clean and clear for ya’ll. IF YA DON’T LIKE IT, IT’S NOT WORTH IT. (If you’re a kid, don’t go telling your parents you’re going to drop out of school because I told you this. I already live on the internet, therefore, to them, I am a bad influence.) And that’s the end of it. It took me so long to figure this out – this key phrase I’d been looking for.

MY STORY

All year I’ve been doing debates under my teacher’s forceful hand and when the biggest of the biggest debate opportunities presented itself, the chance to speak in front of twelve schools, and win, I refused it, even when I’d won the same prize last year and I knew I could again. But I gathered up the courage, and simply declared that I didn’t want to do it. And the teacher told me ‘Then go. That’s perfectly fine.’ And that was all. That’s all he said. I had spent a year of unhappiness when I could have just said a few words and spent a year of happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, the aftermath of winning (even losing), is wonderful, but the pressure that comes before it, the pressure to memorise the speeches, to make sure you get everything right, you don’t forget in front of the entire school – that’s what makes me unhappy. I mean, come on. The pressure lasts for a month. The aftermath, barely a day. So the aftermath just isn’t worth it for me. I don’t want to spend a month of pressure just for a day of appreciation and even snarky snide comments from those who lost to me or those who I now lost to. I didn’t want any of it. So I gave up the chance. And didn’t for a moment stop to think again.

WHY YOU NEED TO START SAYING NO

See the thing is, if you don’t say ‘no’ to things you don’t like or that don’t interest you or are a burden on you, there’s no chance of you enjoying them. Allow me to explain with an example. You’re being offered a job opportunity with someone you love and have idealised all your life, but the job is to read emails and report important ones back to the person. No matter who that person is, if you have no interest in reading emails, the job’s not worth it. (I mean, you could try a few days and then quit once you’re bored, but that’s not the point).

Morgan did a post on Blogging Stress in which she talks about how she refused big opportunities just to cut the workload and remove pressure from over herself. That certainly says something. My point here is that the reason you should probably say ‘no’ to things you don’t like is that it’s not worth it.

Even if the fame and glory I got from the debates lasted for the entire year, I would give away so many months of pressure in which I could’ve been playing, talking, relaxing, swimming, reading, writing – doing so many things but instead I was speaking and memorising and practicing. And plus, if you don’t enjoy it, it’s going to be twice as hard to do.

HOW TO START SAYING NO

This is probably the main reason why you’re here, I imagine. So how do you say ‘no’ politely, without sounding like you’re proud or arrogant? Well, I hate to break this to ya, but there is no way to ‘start saying no’. There is no real formula, you just have to ‘start saying no’ and that’s it. All you need for it is courage. You go up to the person, and you politely tell them ‘I cannot do this. I don’t want to. It will be too pressure on me….’ And then just go ahead. I told my teacher about my exams, and how I needed to study and wanted to enjoy my last year in middle school. And he said ‘Then go. That’s perfectly fine.’ This kind of thing might hit your hard, but you just have to get over it. Basically, you just explain the situation politely.

BULLIES?

And if it’s a bully, or you’re getting ragged, then you can have two options:

  • Face them and possibly get beaten up
  • Face them and possibly win
  • Run as Fast as You Can Wherever You Can
  • Talk to them

For the purposes of this post, we’re going to take the last option. Politeness is either going to get you towards more ragging or get you out of it. It depends on the person. You have to be steadfast and confident and at the same time make sure your tone gives them authority. It’d recommend not doing this, but it’s what this post suggests – you say it. They tell you to dance in the middle of the field, you tell them you’re not going to dance and that’s how you shut them up. Or you go with another option.

But that’s kind of the jist of how to ‘start saying no’. I kind of feel weird saying , ‘start saying no’, I don’t know why, but I didn’t know how else to explain it. But that’s it for this post. I kind of slipped off of my schedule but am catching up now. But I think I’ve rambled on long enough. That’s it. Bye!

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The photo used for this post is a free stock photo from Canva. I do own it and claim it to be my own. All rights belong to Canva.